tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-44290014001553662042024-03-13T11:37:21.843-07:00Pads and EndsTTGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379595626520134970noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4429001400155366204.post-50525104164184263292012-11-04T00:31:00.001-07:002012-11-04T00:31:30.841-07:00Scrubs? I Love Scrubs!The scene was set October of 2007; I know this because it was around the same time I lost my mind over Matt Holliday not touching the goddamn plate. Anyway, one of my brother's friends was going to work on a gal in my brother's room one day and I decided I was going to lay a block because A) that's what guys do? B) she was seriously going to regret it because C) fuck that guy. Anyway, I burst through the (locked) door and, noticing that they were watching one of my season 2 DVDs, exclaimed "Scrubs? I LOVE SCRUBS!" as I dove in the middle of the bed between them. We watched a few episodes; he glared at me the whole time and she has since thanked me.TTGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379595626520134970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4429001400155366204.post-32826808962091638192012-07-02T11:56:00.000-07:002012-07-02T11:56:23.946-07:00'Scar Tissue' by Anthony Kiedis: A P'n'E Book ReviewI had no idea this was going to be a fucking romance novel for 45 year old housewives, although the fact that there was a dude with flowing hair and his shirt off on the cover should have tipped me off. Seriously, once he hits 12 years old it's just a bunch of bangin' left and right. Before that he bitched for a chapter or two about not being able to decide which of his two loving parents he wanted to live with; poor kid. But, yeah, around 12 he decided to live with his Sunset strip scumbag father and from there it's just about 400 pages of him banging ladies and banging dope. It's pretty fucking sleazebag because he goes into way too much personal detail about individual girls and what they're good at- you get the picture. So now, for the rest of these women's lives, anyone who meets them is apt to be thinking "Where do I know that name from? Hmmm... oh, yeah! Page 347! She sucks dick CRAZY good!" I really can't stress enough how much this book is just a cycle of anecdotes following the pattern of "met this girl, I love her, shoot some cocaine for three days, shoot some heroin, eff some other lady but I totes still love that underage girl..." Yeah, I didn't mention that yet. High school girls, dude. He gets older, they stay the same age. He gets clean a couple times in the book and he supposedly is when it was written but who knows, really... apparently somewhere in there he was in a really awesome band; it gets touched on to a certain degree but not as much as I would have liked. I feel like if he cut out about 300 pages of "her soft, young breasts glistened in the moonlight" or what the fuck ever and added a few more stories about Flea and the boys it would have been salvagable. Actually, I don't think so. The thing that got to me was his attitude and there's no fixing that no matter how many pages of tits and syringes you edit out. He was an entitled little brat who never had any rules, grew up with that same sense of arrogance and never shook it. Even though he talks about being clean and all that shit, the way he glorifies shit from his past just tells me he's a cocky prick who feels like he got away with something. And, hey, maybe he did.TTGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379595626520134970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4429001400155366204.post-72096736832180841412012-03-15T07:21:00.002-07:002012-03-15T07:25:20.278-07:00Haiku<div style="text-align: center;">Deceased grandparents<br />I had three before Wednesday<br />Today I have four<br /></div>TTGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379595626520134970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4429001400155366204.post-50073986053097292842010-09-03T01:27:00.000-07:002010-09-03T01:52:35.187-07:00The Supreme Idiocy That Is "FML"<span style="font-size:85%;"> You wanna know what I really can't stand? Sure you do; you wouldn't be here if you didn't. I thoroughly loathe when people use "FML". You'll notice that it's always used after something that is, in the big picture, incredibly trivial.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"> "OMG; I have to write this paper tonight. FML" Seriously? Fuck your life because you have to- nay, get to- do an assignment as a part of something that is bettering your life and will open up opportunities that others will never have? Really?</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"> "I have to get up and go to work. FML" You know how many people would do nearly anything to have that job, you spoiled little brat? Yeah, fuck your life because you have a means to pay for food and shelter. Poor thing.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"> This world is full of people with legitimate reasons for despair. There are millions of homeless people, those dying an AIDS related death and addicts who are compelled beyond their own power to do the one thing they hate above all others day in and day out. I could understand it if these people said "fuck my life". But not you.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"> Later this morning, my aunt is going in to get a mastectomy. Do you know what that is? That's when they cut off your cancerous breast. She already has no hair or energy- you know how many times she's said "fuck my life"? Zero. That's because she's an adult and she has perspective. She has a life and knows it's a precious thing.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"> Maybe people just don't think about these sorts of things before they start being crybabies and showing off their disgusting sense of entitlement. Maybe they don't care. But I do know that every time I see or hear "FML" I think "Yeah, fuck your life. Seriously. Fuck you."</span>TTGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379595626520134970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4429001400155366204.post-88439798815324369572009-08-20T06:59:00.000-07:002009-08-20T07:24:49.028-07:00The Old Man And The Punk<span style="font-size:85%;">Living in West Virginia, the vast majority of strangers I encounter regard me with great disdain. They take one look at me and decide I'm the scum of the earth. For this reason, I make it a point, when in public, to conduct myself with the utmost kindness and politeness so that maybe the next time they see some guy with blue hair, a bunch of tattoos or anything else of the sort they might think twice before writing them off. That, and it's just the right thing to do; pausing a moment to hold a door for someone or picking up something they dropped only takes a second or two of my time but it could make the difference between them having a good day or a crappy one- it really is all about the small things. About an hour or so ago I walked to the store to get a coffee and spotted an elderly man struggling to change his tire. As I approached him he snapped "I don't have any change!" "No, sir," I replied, "I was wondering if you could use a little help with that." He eyed me suspiciously before muttering "alright" and I commenced to make quick work of what would have been quite arduous for him. After I finished, he offered to pay me and I declined- this really caught him off guard. "You know, buddy, I had you wrong" he said and we shook greasy hands. It felt very satisfying not only to help somebody out but also to hopefully put a dent in decades of prejudice.</span>TTGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379595626520134970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4429001400155366204.post-36419498702373969412009-08-19T07:06:00.000-07:002009-08-19T08:00:47.157-07:00Blanks Walks Off And So Do I<span style="font-size:85%;">My favorite moment of this season so far is still Li'l Tony's pinch-hit walk and subsequent winning run on the day we acquired him (all of which happened while I was on mushrooms, I should probably add), but each of the past two games are definitely in the top-five. I watched Blanksy's walkoff job Monday night on the front porch since I was out there smoking when the rally started and I wasn't about to get out of my seat and eff it up. When KB parked that ball out in left, I went friggin' <em>nuts</em>; there's a good possibility I may have woke a neighbor or two up. One neighbor who was still awake without my assistance shouted across the street "What you wilin' out about, nigga?" so I tossed my computer inside and went over there to explain myself and do a little socializing. This, my friends, is where it gets really bizarre. A few neighbors and some skanktastic girl I'd never seen before were holding it down, doing pretty much the same thing as me at that point which was drinking crappy beer. So far, not weird at all. Then he starts telling me how he's gonna start a strip club/ brothel <em>out of his house</em> "but only on the weekends" to which another neighbor responded that "nah, you neeed to have them hoes up in here on a Sunday cuz that's when my old lady's out of town". He then asked the skanky girl to "let me see how you do" and she queried "You got any bills?" His response was "No, but I got some pills" and without even asking what kind of pills they were, she immediately began walking inside. I was speechless and disgusted although not one bit surprised. I remained outside, talking to my next-door neighbor who is surprisingly a semi-decent human being- surprisingly because of the company he keeps- and getting hammered. And by hammered, I mean full-on Drama goes to DC hammered. Not too much later- or hell, maybe a lot later for all I know- pimp guy calls up another skankariffic girl with the intentof her and the other one "putting on a show". As soon as she got there and it was clear that everyone was going inside to participate in the degrading of women, I excused myself. I was then asked "What, you gay, nigga?" Since there's no point in explaining my stance to someone who's enthusiastic about exploiting human beings and treating women like a combination of product and garbage, I just said I was tired. All in all, it was pretty effed up and I know where I'm not gonna be hanging out ever again.</span>TTGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379595626520134970noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4429001400155366204.post-16531097372636753812009-08-16T18:15:00.000-07:002009-08-16T18:43:15.421-07:00P'n'E Book Review: "The Code" Is A LoadDear God, what a horrible book. This steaming pile is proof positive that you can get anything published as long as you know the right people. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn6fbv59YXMg4NMN0ZSmi1ECoLFfrSMJwDHepk_AeS7A7Yg7cMZQF_0MnwJseyV_pqlF1brljg7snUyEDXQKITaLYwX3I2UbaP6T7lqxYeIo-D-zo3Rv2jeDgzDR1ZZbOKRQTkT7Lh-og/s1600-h/Picture0007.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5370735791935661346" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn6fbv59YXMg4NMN0ZSmi1ECoLFfrSMJwDHepk_AeS7A7Yg7cMZQF_0MnwJseyV_pqlF1brljg7snUyEDXQKITaLYwX3I2UbaP6T7lqxYeIo-D-zo3Rv2jeDgzDR1ZZbOKRQTkT7Lh-og/s320/Picture0007.jpg" border="0" /></a> The premise of the book is baseball's unwritten "code" as far as retaliation, brushbacks, respect, hard slides, so on and so forth. Good idea, terrible execution. The "author" of this excuse for literature simply cobbled together quotes from a few current and a lot of former players, the vast majority of which were Minnesota Twins. What you wind up with is a million variations of "yeah, sometimes you gotta drill a guy- but you never go for his head". It's broken down into chapters including Excessive Celebration, Showing Up Hitters, Sliding Hard, et cetera yet every subject concludes with "if somebody does that, you gotta drill him- but you never go for his head". I always wished they'd make a book version of "Groundhog Day", now I realize they did. Jeez. Another thing about this hardbound colostomy bag that really grinds my gears is the insistence to awkwardly tack the phrase "the code" into nearly every insipid quote. I could go on and on about every shortcoming this literary equivilant of herpes has but I really don't want to think about it anymore.TTGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379595626520134970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4429001400155366204.post-23620492168194328632009-07-13T15:40:00.000-07:002009-07-14T04:08:38.036-07:00For one moment last night, everything was perfect.I never remember my dreams. Never.<br /><br />This one was different. When I woke up today, every vivid detail was painted on my brain. I feel it's my duty to warn you that what you're about to read is one of the cheesiest, most insipid loads of misty-eyed garbage you'll ever waste your time reading. I'm not even sure why I'm documenting this because to do so is to surely invite derision and good-natured ridicule but I feel strangely compelled. That being said, it's time I set the scene.<br /><br />I can still smell the air. An ocean breeze brushed wafts of beer and garlic fries past our faces, a smell I've encountered only at PETCO Park. I was sitting next to a beautiful young gal I know, one who in reality is mercifully oblivious to the slight-but-none-the-less-pathetic silly schoolboy crush I vaguely harbor; our seats were a couple rows behind the first base dugout, close enough to see Li'l T's smile in the on-deck circle before he strode to the plate. I don't know who we were playing or who was on base. I do know that when TGJ dropped the first pitch into shallow left-center, <span style="font-style: italic;">somebody </span>scored and the place went nuts- except for two people. We sat there calmly as Buck-O-Nine blared from the PA, the most genuine smile across each of our faces and clicked the necks of our Dos Equis bottles against the other's. End scene.<br /><br />I'm certainly no psychologist so I don't know what to make of it. It was simply to me a respite from a world where the Padres always lose and I'm like a fourteen year old for someone way outta my league. For one moment, life was perfect... and I'm just happy I got that one moment, no matter how unreal it really is.<br /><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden"><div id="refHTML"></div><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden"><div id="refHTML"></div><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden"><div id="refHTML"></div>TTGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379595626520134970noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4429001400155366204.post-37341703391573643572008-04-14T01:04:00.000-07:002008-04-14T14:28:22.751-07:00Know Your Enemy: Colorado Rockies Edition<p>I'v<a href="http://ecosandiego.signonsandiego.com/vmix_hosted_apps/120/Eco_San_Diego.html">e co</a>me to rely on the fact that <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=ij1vBgK__aw">every single day</a>, when I <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=IliwQImJrYE&feature=related">final</a>ly roll off the <a href="http://www.funnyhub.com/pictures/img/burning-couch.jpg">couch</a> in the afternoon, I'll be gree<a href="http://www.scrubs-italia.com/images/gallery/grubs/s6e02-cameraman_ted.jpg">ted</a> by a bright, shiny, <a href="http://volkswagenpartspeople.com/volkswagen_car_bra.html">bra</a>nd-<a href="http://www.warmbowski.org/bettie_page_spank01.jpg/bettie_page_spank01-large.jpg">spankin'</a> new volume of the world-ren<a href="http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e114/nosilla1/owned-baby-papa.jpg">own</a>ed <a href="http://www.gaslampball.com/2008/4/11/391771/smells-like-padres-in-here">"SLPiH"</a>, which <a href="http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/RSPOD/RS439~Darryl-Hall-and-John-Oates-Rolling-Stone-no-439-January-1985-Posters.jpg">Winfields Ghost and Drama</a> do such a <a href="true">spectacular job</a> of <a href="http://www.dayoopers.com/gallery/crazy/ab03.gif">researching</a> while <a href="http://www.miamitwp.org/police/graphics/meth_lab.jpg">never missing a deadline</a>. I thought, "hey, <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=6T09XWRkq5M">why</a> should <a href="http://home.teleport.com/~rasputin/ImageFiles/amb_gay1.jpg">they</a> get to have <a item="[object]" href="http://www.interpunk.com/item.cfm?Item=76786">all</a> of the <a href="http://www.dvdtown.com/images/displayimage.php?id=6196">fun</a>?" so I decided I'd <a href="http://videodetective.com/photos/127/005348_11.jpg">break out</a> my <a href="http://www.neoaztlan.com/images/issue_5/bonvicini_not_for_you.jpg">very own</a> regular feature, a <a href="http://www.museumofdisability.org/html/exhibits/society/imgSports/1951.jpg">little</a> something <a href="http://s63.photobucket.com/albums/h139/painwillbemymotivation/?action=view¤t=VA_Teeya1.jpg">I</a> like to call "<a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=5LvwzanCLCo&feature=related">Know Your Enemy</a>", which is basically exactly what it <a href="http://www.nashvillesounds.com/">sounds</a> like- a roundup of pertinent <a href="http://makinsausage.com/db2/00112/makinsausage.com/_uimages/IMG_0019.jpg">links</a> about <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/San_Diego_Padres">our</a> up<a href="http://www.xmradio.ca/images/onxm/series/jimmie-johnson.gif">coming</a> opponents<a href="http://img.alibaba.com/photo/10947800/OREYA_The_Perfect_Solution_For_Menstrual_Pain.jpg">.</a> While occasionally giving <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=-xALiBgzPzE">respect</a> where <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=p-T0NRZpkg4">respect</a> is due and relevant <a href="http://www.gaslampball.com/2008/4/11/391665/does-mariano-rivera-blow-i">statistical analysis</a> and <a></a><a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=fiTWdZhqoc0">breakdown</a>, I can only <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=wdybbBXDlOc">imagine</a> that it <a href="http://www.willsmith.net/">will</a> consist <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0609182/">most</a>ly of ridicule and <a href="http://www.mitchclem.com/mystupidlife/36/">derision</a> of the <a href="http://www.nancarrow-webdesk.com/warehouse/storage2/2007-w40/img.13033_t.jpg">d-bag</a>s that <a href="http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y186/pohlmanfield/Signed%20homemades/100_0942.jpg">play</a> for <a href="http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/PHO/bb_AAHZ246_8x10~2007-Los-Angeles-Dodgers-Team-Posters.jpg">other teams</a>. Le<a href="http://www.mste.uiuc.edu/courses/ci303fa01/students/mulford/Science/mr-t-back.jpg">t</a>'s <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=WESs2U_avdU">give it</a> a <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Go-H2O/dp/B00005J70X">go</a>, shall <a></a><a href="http://www.gamepro.com/nintendo/wii/44315/info.shtml">we</a>?</p><br /><p>We <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=UMB9P6dT02c&feature=related">kick off</a> our <a href="http://www.hank3.com/">three</a> game series <a href="http://www.versus.com/">vs.</a> the <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=LGA6mLcxNl0">reigning</a> N.L. <a href="http://www.xbox-skins.net/forums/index.php?automodule=downloads&req=display&code=ss&id=3502">champ</a>ion Colo<a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091817/">rad</a>o <a href="http://www.ssb2.net/users/5521/colorado_rockies_both.jpg">Rockies</a> at the <a href="http://www.ballparks.com/baseball/national/sdobpk.htm">greatest park around</a> at precisely <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=3_rfPxWBh34">7</a>:05 pm PST <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=2PlKbYGGVPQ">Tuesday</a>, the same <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=JtyOMtuacMI">time</a> as <a href="http://www.qwantz.com/fanart/wednesday.png">Wednesday</a> and <a href="http://www.sandiegoclubs.com/days/5/thursday.html">Thursday</a>'s <a href="http://www.makewish.org/site/pp.asp?c=cvLRKaO4E&b=64401">game</a>s.</p><br /><p>Much like <a href="http://sandiego.padres.mlb.com/news/gameday_recap.jsp?ymd=20080413&content_id=2524958&vkey=recap&fext=.jsp&c_id=sd">we did</a>, Colorado just <a href="http://colorado.rockies.mlb.com/news/gameday_recap.jsp?ymd=20080413&content_id=2524281&vkey=recap&fext=.jsp&c_id=col">concluded a road series</a> against a <a href="http://www.azsnakepit.com/">hated division rival</a> with <a href="http://www.denverpost.com/sports/ci_8914619">a win</a> one day after recieving <a href="http://www.denverpost.com/rockies/ci_8906040">a brutal thrashing</a>. Doing <a href="http://www.wane.com/Global/story.asp?S=8160250&nav=0RYd">most of the damage</a> were <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/b/barmecl01.shtml">Clint Barmes</a> (subbing for the slumping <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/players/7850">Troy Tulowitzki</a>), who <a href="http://www.slashfilm.com/wp/wp-content/images/hommeroscarsbigger.jpg">homer</a>ed and drove in four, and <a href="http://weblogs.baltimoresun.com/sports/ordine/blog/Holliday1.jpg">Matt Holliday</a> and <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/players/profile?statsId=7145">Garrett Atkins</a>, who each went yard and drove in three.</p><br /><p><a href="http://www.rotoworld.com/content/playerpages/player_main.aspx?sport=MLB&id=1146">Ubaldo Jimenez</a> will be going up against <a href="http://www.sportsline.com/mlb/players/playerpage/127132">The Wolf</a>. Jimenez <a href="http://www.ocala.com/article/20080408/APS/804082896">won his last start</a> against Atlanta, <a href="http://www.sportsline.com/mcc/messages/thread/7665248">giving up three earned over six</a> in a <a href="http://colorado.rockies.mlb.com/news/wrap.jsp?ymd=20080408&content_id=2505950&vkey=wrapup2005&fext=.jsp&team=home&c_id=col">4-3 nailbiter</a> at Coors. He <a href="http://colorado.rockies.mlb.com/news/gameday_recap.jsp?ymd=20080403&content_id=2487270&vkey=recap&fext=.jsp&c_id=col">wasn't as successful his first time out</a>, earning the loss in St. Louis, giving up <a href="http://www.sportingnews.com/yourturn/viewtopic.php?t=395222">three earned in five innings of work</a>, a game in which "super-sub" <a href="http://colorado.rockies.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20080403&content_id=2487271&vkey=news_col&fext=.jsp&c_id=col">Jeff Baker</a> got his only hit thusfar in eleven AB/PAs. Baker is <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/players/7041">3-for-18 with 7 Ks</a> in seven career games versus the Padres.</p><br /><p>San Diego native <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/baseball/mlb/players/6285/">Mark Redman</a> gets <a href="http://www.denverpost.com/sports/ci_8914856">the nod</a> for Wednesday's game, going up against <a href="http://sandiego.padres.mlb.com/team/player.jsp?player_id=430683">Justin</a>o <a href="http://www.bluthfamily.com/characters/buster-bluth/quotes.html">Hermano</a>. Like Jimenez, Redman <a href="http://www.wtvynews4.com/sports/headlines/17458514.html">beat the Braves in Colorado</a> his last time out, giving up three runs (two earned)on seven hits in five innings of work after getting knocked around for <a href="http://www.sportsnet.ca/baseball/mlb/scores/20080404127/Ari@Col?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=daily">a loss in his first start</a> of the season, giving up five runs (four earned) on nine hits and three walks in less than six innings against the reviled <a href="http://photobucket.com/mediadetail/?media=http%3A%2F%2Fi218.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc252%2Fhaneyiam%2Fmlb%2520hats%2F100_3342.jpg&searchTerm=diamondbacks&pageOffset=18">D-Bags</a>. Also like Jimenez <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/players/7900;_ylt=AgI9mg.7vDxGYofcAUF.KWKFCLcF">(1-0 in two starts)</a>, Redman <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/players/6285">hasn't faced the Padres much</a>, losing his only decision of four games (three starts).</p><br /><p>Thursday's finale matches <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeff_Francis">Jeff Francis</a> against <strike>Philip Rivers</strike> <a href="http://partmule.com/Uploads/Peavy_Jaeger.jpg">Jake Peavy</a>. Francis is <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/players/7383;_ylt=AoUoQUJGnAsxbjz.rwwdf4aFCLcF">currently 0-2</a> after getting rocked in <a href="http://www2.gazette.com/rockies/display.php?id=1332825">both</a> of his <a href="http://www.startribune.com/sports/twins/17575839.html">starts</a> against <a href="http://ballsiest.com/sportsblog/2007/08/29/arizona-diamondbacks-fan-mug-shot/">Arizona</a> after getting a rain reprieve from his <a href="http://www.rockymountainnews.com/news/2008/mar/31/krieger-baseball-gods-rain-on-cardinals-parade/">first horrendous start</a> against the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Ckcw8hhwgE">Cardinals</a>. In 16 career starts against the Padres, Francis has been <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/pi/psplit.cgi?n1=francje01">far from successful</a>, wearing a 4-10 record and an ERA of 5.83. <a href="http://thegezafracas.blogspot.com/2007/06/from-wonder-to-wonder-interview-with.html">Khalil</a>, <a href="http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a77/dsanford/Misc/Kouzmanoff2.jpg">Kouz</a>, and <a href="http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2006/09/shakespearePA_449x600.jpg">Bard</a> have <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/pi/p-pvb.cgi?n1=francje01&year=0#choice=&bats=&minPA2=0&minPA=0&orderbydir=DESC&orderbydirb=ASC&n1=francje01&as=pitcher&year_game=career&opp_id=SDP&orderby=PA&orderbyb=Name">had their way with him</a>. Not so much <a href="http://static.flickr.com/24/59756144_8c5777e40f_o.jpg">Jim Ed</a>, though (1-for-12; ouch!).</p><br /><p>Don't feel bad, <a href="http://coreybrock.mlblogs.com/">Corey</a>, this guy's <a href="http://www.denverpost.com/rockies/ci_8914213">mailbag</a> gets filled with some pretty insipid questions, too. What kind of <a href="http://www.toppun.com/ProductImages/anti-Bush/funny_anti_bush_pictures/It_Takes_an_Idiot_to_Raze_a_Village_raise_a_child_funny_Bush_picture.jpg">idiot</a> with the entire internets at his disposal asks what happened to a free agent? Two <a href="http://www.allmoviezone.com/click/">click</a>s and you can <a href="http://www.coyotescorner.com/images/realeyes.jpg">realize</a> for yourself that not only is <a href="http://www.rotoworld.com/content/playerpages/player_main.aspx?sport=MLB&ID=3789">Kazuo Matsui</a> a member of the <a href="http://www.crawfishboxes.com/">Astros</a> now, but also that he has been unable to play due to <a href="http://sports.aol.com/fanhouse/2008/03/11/kaz-matsuis-official-diagnosis-anal-fissures/">anal fissures</a> for quite some time now. <a href="http://padres.scout.com/a.z?s=315&p=2&c=729248&ssf=1&RequestedURL=http%3A%2F%2Fpadres.scout.com%2F2%2F729248.html">Jesus</a>, people; give the <a href="http://sandiego.padres.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20071008&content_id=2256640&vkey=news_sd&fext=.jsp&c_id=sd">Brock</a>s and <a href="http://www.denverpost.com/rockiesmailbagform">Renck</a>s of the world <a href="http://www.inthenews.co.uk/money/news/finance/us-federal-reserve-credit-crisis-not-over-yet-$1218690.htm">some credit</a> and wait until <a href="http://media.urbandictionary.com/image/large/moran-7512.jpg">you</a> have a <a href="http://science.howstuffworks.com/question85.htm">legitimate question</a>.</p><br /><p>Colorado <a href="http://mlb.mlb.com/stats/sortable_team_stats.jsp?c_id=mlb&baseballScope=NL&statType=1&sitSplit=&timeSubFrame=2008&groupByTeam=true&Submit=Submit&timeFrame=1&c_id=mlb§ion1=null&statSet1=null&groupByTeam=true&statType=1&sortByStat=AVG&timeFrame=1&timeSubFrame=2008&baseballScope=mlb&prevPage1=1&readBoxes=true&Submit=Submit&checkBoxTotal=0">is currently</a> 14th in the N.L. in BA (Padres are 2nd), 15th in hits (we're #1!), and 14th in runs and RBI (15th!). Maybe if we <a href="http://thestockmasters.com/images/pulp_fiction_koons.jpg">watch</a> them closely, we'll <a href="http://images.rottentomatoes.com/images/movie/coverv/23/216223.jpg">pick up</a> a few <a href="http://www.camtattoo.com/cam/items.asp?Cc=STIPBTYPE&iTpStatus=0&Tp=&Bc=">tips</a> on how to not leave 'em <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=WNLXkLjrC5g">stranded</a>...</p><br /><p>Well, I hope <a href="http://i.usatoday.net/sports/_photos/2007/08/05/saracenox.jpg">you guys</a> learned something about <a href="http://www.the-state.com/">the state</a> of our <a href="http://mlb.imageg.net/graphics/product_images/pMLB2-1783162dt.jpg">adversary.</a> Have a <a href="http://mt.laweekly.com/sea/buzzerbeater/drunk.jpg">great day</a> and don't do <a href="http://gallery.ahrar.org.lb/main.php?g2_view=core.DownloadItem&g2_itemId=5856&g2_serialNumber=1">anything I wouldn't</a> do. <a href="http://www.jamesharrisgallery.com/Artists/Mark%20Mumford/NothingLeftToSay.jpg">Later...</a></p>TTGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379595626520134970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4429001400155366204.post-56265588022457423792008-04-03T22:58:00.000-07:002008-04-03T23:06:43.524-07:00Trevor's Still Alive (but don't ask ESPN)[This entry is a verbatim copy-and-paste of a <a href="http://www.gaslampball.com/2008/4/4/389601/why-does-the-national-medi">diary</a>, er, I mean <i>fanpost</i> I put up over at the almighty <A href="http://www.gaslampball.com/">Gaslamp Ball</a>. My BAC is elevated enough to merit this its very own PnE spot- like anyone's gonna notice.]<br /><br />All day yesterday, the only thing I heard on both ESPN and Fox Sports was the same tired shid about Trevor needing to retire or be demoted. Today he tosses a perfect fuggin' inning and not a word is to be heard. I don't understand the rabid minds that demand this sort of knee-jerk sensationalism. In today's media the only triumphs that are documented are the ones that have a nice, even number attached... or happen in New York or even farther north. It's the same old bitchfest that we have all been crying for years but I just needed to vent on the unadulterated absurdity of a time-old quandry.TTGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379595626520134970noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4429001400155366204.post-26266749932165241232008-03-18T21:42:00.001-07:002008-03-18T21:47:33.817-07:00'08 in the N.L.N.L. East<br /> 1. NY Meth<br /> 2. Illadelphia Phallus<br /> 3. Atlanta Racists<br /> 4. Washington Generals <br /> 5. Florida Firesales<br />This division is the most cut-and-dry. Santana will come in third in the Cy Young voting to the one-two punch that is Jake Peavy and Chris Young.<br /><br />N.L. Central<br /> 1. NorthSide <a href=”http://www.impeachedmagazine.com/page11/colbert/files/page33_5.jpg”>#1 Threats</a><br /> 2. Cincinnati Style Chili<br /> 3. Milwaukee Favre-Missers<br /> 4. St. Louis <a href=”http://awfulannouncing.blogspot.com/2007/08/aa-rumor-mill-matt-vasgersian-trashes.html”>El Camino</a>s<br /> 5. Houston Padre Offcasts<br /> 6. Piss-burgh Bream-Haters<br />I’m going out on a limb by picking Cincy to finish second but I stand by it.<br /><br />N.L. West<br /> 1. SDMFPs<br /> 2. Arid-zona D-Bags<br /> 3. Filthy Fuckin’ Dodgers<br /> 4. Denver Luckies<br /> 5. The Bottom of the Bay<br />Good pitching beats good hitting. Luckily, the Pads have great pitching and everyone else in the division has good hitting at best. This year they have an offense that can actually score a few runs per game and that’s all it’ll take. World Fuckin’ Champions!<br /><br />Bring on your best arguments. The A.L. edition will follow soon enough.TTGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379595626520134970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4429001400155366204.post-89842226016210320952008-03-05T20:02:00.000-08:002009-10-07T23:50:01.796-07:00Scott RadMaybe I came off a bit cold in my assessment of Scott Speizio the other day. I'm not trying to bury him; I've always liked the guy, what with him being in a metal band and having the blood red soul patch/ wisdom patch/ ball tickler/ whatever they're calling it these days thingie. The Qualified Substance Abuse Professional in me is sure he can get his shit together. Maybe we'll need a stretch-run utilityman and he can dye his gine-duster navy blue... Anyway, writing about him made me think I should write something about the greatest ballplayer/ musician/ skater/ entrepreneur of all time, Scott Mo'fuggin Radinsky.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4Snt7Rkby8oi88zR2BSlwCm-aS1sNzYxYg3i0W0qUmNlQm43A1BBgkjl9bUTYElMNBdmjC7BBjH-NuNTAye0ke0kuoXPQZLQRApvNYaZSEBXZ4ydiI74Fex34d30zR4G2ct37vaLYZ7c/s1600-h/01.jpg"><img style="CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5174485262350314514" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4Snt7Rkby8oi88zR2BSlwCm-aS1sNzYxYg3i0W0qUmNlQm43A1BBgkjl9bUTYElMNBdmjC7BBjH-NuNTAye0ke0kuoXPQZLQRApvNYaZSEBXZ4ydiI74Fex34d30zR4G2ct37vaLYZ7c/s320/01.jpg" /></a><br />Nevermind that he was a filthy Dodger for a few years, dude's a badass. Not only has he pitched in more Major League games than any other Jewish man, kicked cancer's ass, founded a landmark skatepark and museum, he's the lead singer of Pulley- one of the finest pop-punk bands in all of the lands. Breathe in the goodness:<br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/mYCJsWuGWmI&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/mYCJsWuGWmI&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>TTGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379595626520134970noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4429001400155366204.post-35167744507208919342008-03-02T20:34:00.000-08:002008-03-02T21:03:38.265-08:00Spring TrainingIts been long overdue and after a long hiatus I am back and ready to talk padres baseball, so lets get to it. As everyone knows spring training is a good time for pitchers to refine their stuff and hitters to get a look at live pitching.<br />There are three particular battles that I am looking forward to see how they shake out. First is how many rule 5 draftees will make the roster. I think that all of them have a chance to make the squad so it will be interesting to see them battle for open spots.<br />The second thing that I am eager to see is who will win the 5th starter position. There is a grip of guys vying for the last starting pitching spot and I believe that it will be Germano until Prior is ready to come back, but I hope it is one of our younger guys Leblanc, Inman or Geer just to see how they can do against major league hitters.<br />Lastly, Hairston vs. Headley. Ultimately I think that Headley will just do too much in spring training to sit on the bench its nothing that Hairston will do wrong its just Headley is the real deal and his bat will not allow him to be sat or platooned in left.<br />Here is to the battles of spring training.thepadfatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09300628897573985742noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4429001400155366204.post-20166644532436310942008-02-27T19:16:00.000-08:002008-02-27T19:33:20.616-08:00The Textbook Definition of Irony<a href="">Scott Spiezio got released by the Cardinals today</a> as the result of an incident last December in which he got hammered, crashed his Beemer, fled the scene and topped it all off with beating the hell out of his neighbor. Obviously, that's no good and thank goodness he didn't kill anyone. But here's the part that got me:<br /><blockquote>Asked about Spiezio’s release, Cardinals manager Tony La Russa said, “I think it’s a consistent message about what the team represents.”</blockquote>Saaaay Whaaaaat?!?! Tony probably would have kicked his neighbor's ass if he could have managed to stay awake. I guess they're required to <i>finally</i> take the hard-line approach after TLR's escapade and what happened to Josh Hancock, but the last thing I'd expect to hear it called would be "a consistent message about what the team represents", especially coming from the lips of a man who got to keep his job under such circumstances.TTGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379595626520134970noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4429001400155366204.post-19789894057378103872008-02-26T19:46:00.000-08:002008-02-26T20:07:48.801-08:00Bonds To Another Bay? Good.Lately, with all of the decent players snatched up, people have been left to speculate where Barry Bonds is going to work this year. Word around the campfire has him going to Tampa Bay- much to my delight. It's the best case scenario. His "legacy" would be tainted even worse than it already is, what with his 3000th hit coming up guaranteeing that history won't be able to forget that he went out with the only pathetic team that would have him. This would be even better than him retiring or playing in Japan because in either of those instances he can play the "Feel sorry for me; I got blackballed" card. If the no longer devilish Rays pick him up, there will be one happy guy in West Virginia reveling in watching him struggle through one last, pointless season. I heard some idiot on the ESPNs saying that signing Bonds would automatically turn the Rays into a contender. It makes perfect sense because that's what he's been doing for the Giants, right? Right? Where do they find these people?TTGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379595626520134970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4429001400155366204.post-30349345478948517062008-02-12T19:51:00.000-08:002008-02-12T20:01:55.652-08:00The Kinda Bad and The Very GoodFirst off, I'd like to apologize to our readers (both of you!) for the long hiatus. I've had a lot of irons in the ol' fire and thepadfather hasn't wanted anything to do with sports in general since- well, you know... Anyway, here's what I was gonna say:<br /><br />Our plans were set. This summer was definitely <i>the</i> summer that we were gonna pack it all up, kiss this hellhole goodbye, and take up residence in San Diego County. This was still the official plan until last Saturday- at which time an old acquaintance of mine offered me the vacant room in the tattoo shop he co-owns. Oh fuck yeah! This opportunity is the culmination of every bit of dreaming I've done since I was five years old. The plan has now been revised to bump the move back a year until I'm at the next level and fully established. I never thought I'd be so stoked to <i>not</i> be moving to San Diego. Life is good...TTGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379595626520134970noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4429001400155366204.post-25206191388030404642008-01-27T19:28:00.000-08:002008-01-27T20:03:50.622-08:00ESPN Classic is garbage and here's why...A few weeks ago, Suddenlink rearranged some of the channels and I was uber-stoked to find out that now we get ESPN Classic. My joy was about to go straight down the toilet in a hurry. It had been some time since I'd had Classic and, dear God, the years have not been kind. Why the hell don't they just call it The Poker Channel? Seriously, I enjoy taking everybody's money at the poker table just as much as the next guy, but when it comes to watching it on TV, fuck that shit straight up and down. When they're not airing that shite or <i>Arliss</i>, the actual classic sporting events they do manage to wedge in are season-specific. Right now, all they're showing is basketball since football season is (practically) over. Maybe it's just me, but it seems like it would make much more sense to air sports in their off-season. By doing what they do, Disney forces its various arms of ESPN to compete against one another in an all-or-nothing proposition. If somebody's a college basketball fan, they'd be a lot more likely to watch a classic game if it wasn't up opposite a live basketball game. Being a baseball junkie, right now is when I jones most to see some baseball, but by the time they get around to airing classic baseball, I'll have <i>real</i> games to watch. It's not rocket surgery, people; give your consumers what they want when they most need it. Then again, what should I expect from a company that relies on Eduardo Perez for intelligent analysis?TTGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379595626520134970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4429001400155366204.post-45106673460226860522008-01-20T22:37:00.000-08:002008-01-20T22:52:49.194-08:00I can see why you miss this guy...Bip was basically Joey Cora with an ego problem. Look at those fuckin' wristbands; why not just get two from Hot Topic that say "I ♥ Me"? That's a good case for Paul Lukas: the rise and fall of the portrait wristbands. Only a select few players like Bip, Bonds, Sheff and Piazza had them for only a couple of years in the early-mid nineties, but they disappeared just as quickly as they arrived. With the technological advances, imagine how awesome they could make a wristband these days. Nike would have to invest in orange thread solely for the purpose of rendering Brian Giles's face... Anyways, here's the Bip card:<br /><img src="http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h139/painwillbemymotivation/3.jpg">TTGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379595626520134970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4429001400155366204.post-40649793584183939662008-01-19T20:32:00.000-08:002008-01-19T20:35:17.573-08:00picksNew York vs. Green Bay<br />Green Bay 28-17<br />San Diego vs. New England<br />Brain says 31-21 N.E<br />Heart says 27-24 S.Dthepadfatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09300628897573985742noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4429001400155366204.post-47769789261043005832008-01-19T00:06:00.000-08:002008-01-19T00:11:00.966-08:00It's tomorrow now...Now that you mention it, I’ve got a card of the last real outfielder K.T. swiped out of someone’s back pocket; it’s an old-school jim-dandy of Jimmy Ballgame. Heck yeah, I’m calling him Jimmy Ballgame; it’s been too long that’d I’ve had to admire him from afar. Worst case scenario, I feel privileged to see a legend in his twilight- like Mets fans in ’73 or Brewers fans in ’76. Personally, I think he’s still got enough of his historic range and glovework as well as sufficient offensive prowess for two more productive seasons. At any rate, here’s the card:<br /><a href="http://s63.photobucket.com/albums/h139/painwillbemymotivation/?action=view¤t=4-3.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h139/painwillbemymotivation/4-3.jpg" border="0" alt="Jimmy Edge"></a><br />One, that’s one of the fugliest got-dang unis I’ve seen in my short, miserable life. Two, Jimmy Ballgame doesn't sound badass enough… let’s brainstorm this… J-Ed… Jim Ed… Jimmy Ed… Jimmy Edge- yeah! From now on, James Patrick Edmonds will always be Jimmy Edge to me. Yep; that’s all it takes…TTGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379595626520134970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4429001400155366204.post-24072429912187117802008-01-18T22:39:00.000-08:002008-01-18T23:01:32.327-08:00Slow news day...<span style="font-size:85%;">...so here's an old baseball card I found of our fearless leader in his 'stache rockin' days:</span><br /><img src="http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h139/painwillbemymotivation/7-2.jpg" /><br />...and, yeah, I'm definitely gonna milk these baseball cards as time-and-spacefillers whenever there's nothing noteworthy to type about. A new card goes up each day K.T. doesn't get us another real outfielder and probably that day too, if I've got one of him. And to answer your second question, thepadfather, yes. Yes, there are Bip Roberts cards.TTGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379595626520134970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4429001400155366204.post-48785107280526863082008-01-16T22:29:00.001-08:002008-01-16T22:49:45.128-08:00Got any corner outfielders?<span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><a href="http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20080116&content_id=2347476&vkey=news_sd&fext=.jsp&c_id=sd&partnered=rss_sd">That's what K.T. wants</a>. The fact that we need another real outfielder isn't newsworthy at all, but it's good to know that he's acknowledging the problem- going as far as to conclude the chat with "I now need to go find a corner outfielder for you all." The rest was classic non-answers to fairly basic questions. A platoon of Bard and Barrett? Ugh. I hope somebody out there takes Barrett and some Triple-A arms off our hands for an outfielder. The Pirates still seem like the most logical candidate for that sort of deal...</span><br /></span>TTGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379595626520134970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4429001400155366204.post-13129518566499883912008-01-11T20:55:00.000-08:002008-01-16T22:55:26.896-08:00Playoff Predictions part deuxLast week I went 3-1 and am hoping to go 3-1 this weekend.<br />Seattle vs. Green bay<br />I think this will be a close game but in the end the Pack will take this one 27-24.<br />Jacksonville vs. New England<br />I do not think that this game will be as good as most as I think the Pats will blow them out 38-17.<br />New York vs. Dallas<br />I for one do still not believe in Eli and think this Romo ordeal is beyond ridiculous. Boys 35-28.<br />San Diego vs. Indy<br />I think that people are underestimating the fact that San Diego owns Indy for some odd reason. Just like people doubted that the Warriors would beat the Mavs. Ultimately i think the Boltz win and win 27-24thepadfatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09300628897573985742noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4429001400155366204.post-15051129123182404642008-01-09T20:50:00.000-08:002008-01-09T21:32:21.647-08:00The '84 Series...<span style="font-size:100%;">Friend of the family, Tigers fan, and all-around good guy Joe let me borrow his DVD of the '84 WS the other day. It started off with a rundown of each League Championship Series- that was infinitely more palatable than 80% of the World Series. It was really cool to see both of this year's Hall of Famers putting their best out there on the grandest stage of all. I think that Gibson HR off of Goose to seal the deal really summed up who Goose was. It's such an iconic moment, from the impromptu mound conference with a laid back Dick Williams realizing "You mean you're talking about striking him out" to an incredulous Sparky Anderson telling Gibson "He don't wanna walk you! </span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-size:130%;">He don't wanna walk you!" And that's the thing; Goose didn't play it safe- ever. He was balls-out, confident, all-or-nothing all the time. That moment also illustrated what made Dick Williams so great; he believed in his players and valued their insights and knowledge. It backfired for both of them that particular time, but at least they both stuck with their guns. If either of them even knew the definition of playing by the book, they would have never made it as far as they did...</span><br /></span>TTGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379595626520134970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4429001400155366204.post-27243817531256879412008-01-08T22:28:00.000-08:002008-01-08T22:29:54.478-08:00About time...<span style="font-size:130%;">Congratulations, Goose.</span>TTGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379595626520134970noreply@blogger.com0