'08 in the N.L.

N.L. East
1. NY Meth
2. Illadelphia Phallus
3. Atlanta Racists
4. Washington Generals
5. Florida Firesales
This division is the most cut-and-dry. Santana will come in third in the Cy Young voting to the one-two punch that is Jake Peavy and Chris Young.

N.L. Central
1. NorthSide #1 Threats
2. Cincinnati Style Chili
3. Milwaukee Favre-Missers
4. St. Louis El Caminos
5. Houston Padre Offcasts
6. Piss-burgh Bream-Haters
I’m going out on a limb by picking Cincy to finish second but I stand by it.

N.L. West
1. SDMFPs
2. Arid-zona D-Bags
3. Filthy Fuckin’ Dodgers
4. Denver Luckies
5. The Bottom of the Bay
Good pitching beats good hitting. Luckily, the Pads have great pitching and everyone else in the division has good hitting at best. This year they have an offense that can actually score a few runs per game and that’s all it’ll take. World Fuckin’ Champions!

Bring on your best arguments. The A.L. edition will follow soon enough.

Scott Rad

Maybe I came off a bit cold in my assessment of Scott Speizio the other day. I'm not trying to bury him; I've always liked the guy, what with him being in a metal band and having the blood red soul patch/ wisdom patch/ ball tickler/ whatever they're calling it these days thingie. The Qualified Substance Abuse Professional in me is sure he can get his shit together. Maybe we'll need a stretch-run utilityman and he can dye his gine-duster navy blue... Anyway, writing about him made me think I should write something about the greatest ballplayer/ musician/ skater/ entrepreneur of all time, Scott Mo'fuggin Radinsky.

Nevermind that he was a filthy Dodger for a few years, dude's a badass. Not only has he pitched in more Major League games than any other Jewish man, kicked cancer's ass, founded a landmark skatepark and museum, he's the lead singer of Pulley- one of the finest pop-punk bands in all of the lands. Breathe in the goodness:

Spring Training

Its been long overdue and after a long hiatus I am back and ready to talk padres baseball, so lets get to it. As everyone knows spring training is a good time for pitchers to refine their stuff and hitters to get a look at live pitching.
There are three particular battles that I am looking forward to see how they shake out. First is how many rule 5 draftees will make the roster. I think that all of them have a chance to make the squad so it will be interesting to see them battle for open spots.
The second thing that I am eager to see is who will win the 5th starter position. There is a grip of guys vying for the last starting pitching spot and I believe that it will be Germano until Prior is ready to come back, but I hope it is one of our younger guys Leblanc, Inman or Geer just to see how they can do against major league hitters.
Lastly, Hairston vs. Headley. Ultimately I think that Headley will just do too much in spring training to sit on the bench its nothing that Hairston will do wrong its just Headley is the real deal and his bat will not allow him to be sat or platooned in left.
Here is to the battles of spring training.