Sunday, November 4, 2012

Scrubs? I Love Scrubs!

The scene was set October of 2007; I know this because it was around the same time I lost my mind over Matt Holliday not touching the goddamn plate. Anyway, one of my brother's friends was going to work on a gal in my brother's room one day and I decided I was going to lay a block because A) that's what guys do? B) she was seriously going to regret it because C) fuck that guy. Anyway, I burst through the (locked) door and, noticing that they were watching one of my season 2 DVDs, exclaimed "Scrubs? I LOVE SCRUBS!" as I dove in the middle of the bed between them. We watched a few episodes; he glared at me the whole time and she has since thanked me.

Monday, July 2, 2012

'Scar Tissue' by Anthony Kiedis: A P'n'E Book Review

I had no idea this was going to be a fucking romance novel for 45 year old housewives, although the fact that there was a dude with flowing hair and his shirt off on the cover should have tipped me off. Seriously, once he hits 12 years old it's just a bunch of bangin' left and right. Before that he bitched for a chapter or two about not being able to decide which of his two loving parents he wanted to live with; poor kid. But, yeah, around 12 he decided to live with his Sunset strip scumbag father and from there it's just about 400 pages of him banging ladies and banging dope. It's pretty fucking sleazebag because he goes into way too much personal detail about individual girls and what they're good at- you get the picture. So now, for the rest of these women's lives, anyone who meets them is apt to be thinking "Where do I know that name from? Hmmm... oh, yeah! Page 347! She sucks dick CRAZY good!" I really can't stress enough how much this book is just a cycle of anecdotes following the pattern of "met this girl, I love her, shoot some cocaine for three days, shoot some heroin, eff some other lady but I totes still love that underage girl..." Yeah, I didn't mention that yet. High school  girls, dude. He gets older, they stay the same age. He gets clean a couple times in the book and he supposedly is when it was written but who knows, really... apparently somewhere in there he was in a really awesome band; it gets touched on to a certain degree but not as much as I would have liked. I feel like if he cut out about 300 pages of "her soft, young breasts glistened in the moonlight" or what the fuck ever and added a few more stories about Flea and the boys it would have been salvagable. Actually, I don't think so. The thing that got to me was his attitude and there's no fixing that no matter how many pages of tits and syringes you edit out. He was an entitled little brat who never had any rules, grew up with that same sense of arrogance and never shook it. Even though he talks about being clean and all that shit, the way he glorifies shit from his past just tells me he's a cocky prick who feels like he got away with something. And, hey, maybe he did.

Thursday, March 15, 2012


Deceased grandparents
I had three before Wednesday
Today I have four